And then there was one...
Resently, a good friend of mine got hitched. It was a beautiful wedding. I was one of the groomsmen along with my good friends Eric and Tony. Eric is married and currently a doctoral student at Notre Dame, Tony is SINGLE and finishing up his Masters at Denver Theological Seminary. Of all my close friends, Tony is the last remaining unmarried one. This I do not get. Tony is smart, funny, musically-inclined, and an all around gay-- I mean chic magnet. Of all us guys he should be the one married with two kids, not I. But alas, it is not so. I am the one married to a wonderful woman with two amazing kids, while Tony is single and longing for someone he can confide in and share his soul with....
Why is Tony single? Well, I think it has to do with his standards. He thinks they are not high, but I disagree. I mean, where is he going to find a gorgeous goddess, with no sin nature, sporting a huge rack? Let's face it, I got the last one, sorry Tony. He needs to settle on a common, ordinary, run of the mill, comely girl. One that may not look good, but cooks a good meal and never is found far from home. If he does this, he will be married in no time, or at least before he is 30.
But really, I love you man. Out there is your soul mate, and I know she will be everything you hope for, or at least 85% of what you can tolerate.
Peace out!
BCH
posted by Dennis @ 6:37 PM
6 Comments:
An interesting reflection on the single status of your friend "Tony." I must confess I, too, am puzzled by the absence of that special woman in his life. The other day while strolling on a trail behind the apartment complex in which I live, I experienced a moment that could only be described as an apt metaphor for the life of this poor soul. Dusk was setting in, foreboding clouds were forming overhead, no one was around for miles, an empty breeze whisked by me, and it occurred to me that this was an arresting picture of the solitary life. My eyes took in the sight of the river and brush along the path; I heard the wind blowing through the trees and grass; I felt some wind-swept dust strike my face. My sense experiences were known only to me that day; there was no one else with whom they were shared. The single life must be a lot like this lonely walk on the trail. Sometimes it must feel like being all alone on this "lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark," to borrow a poetic phrase from Carl Sagan. Let us only hope that this man finds a woman, loyal and true; but alas, are there any left who are also goddesses?
You suggest his standards are too high--this strikes me as a bit simplistic. To quote a wise sage of our age: "Unwilling to settle for passionate misunderstanding or frigid companionship, I am alone." Is this too much to ask for, BCH? Et tu, Brute?
In the end, these three remain:
(1) Be desireless.
(2) Be excellent.
(3) Be gone.
And do not forget proximity and humor, the great tendons, yea, and ligaments which bind them all together in perfect harmony. For without these, you are not even a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
"Gorgeous goddess" - a given. "Sporting a huge rack" - you'll pay for that one later. But "no sin nature"!? That's a titch overboard, dear, don't you think?!
Okay, I must speak up for the female side of this pity party for singles...
Don't look at singleness as mere loneliness, but relationally challenged. I mean, there are so many fish in the sea and sometimes it's hard to find the right "catch". I whole-heartedly agree with the author that responded to your "simplistic" suggestion of "standards that are too high"...many women are also "unwilling to settle for passionate misunderstanding or frigid companionship." I would like to add that women with high standards are equally frustrated with this game called "dating" and it just takes time for two high standards holding indiviuals to find their match.
And to the friend "Tony" I would like to offer this advice...keep your high standards and don't give up. Besides, BCH has a fabulous wife, yes, but for those of us who know her well...
And Dennis, I'm glad you're back online!
"BCH has a fabulous wife, yes, but for those of us who know her well..."
Easy, turbo.
Tony, your metaphor for the single life produced in me a desire to be loosed from the shackles of marriage. To be married is a delight, but to be single is to be free... So I hasten you to be free little bird...be free!!
Well..... be free unless you find a hot, godly, playful, intellegent, and classy woman. (these are not necessarily placed in order of importance)
Matt G.
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